MEET THE POPE

today, we open a new segment here at Unbalanced, called "Meet the Pope". here with us is the Holy Father himself, Pope-Hitler-Youth-the-First.

Dr. Chip: welcome, there, your eminance....
Das Pope: vominos nabisco lorna doonus.
DC: don't wave that damned thing at me....okay, pope, suppose we get down to brass tacks?
DP: vas ist das? eine trick?
DC: no trick, your assholiness. just tell us about your experience as a Hitler Youth....
DP: JA, VOL .... er, um, vat I mean to zay ist zat ve vere nicht brain-vashed.
DC: yeah, sure. did you just give me "Das-Hand-Shimmy-Salute"?
DP: nein! nein!
DC: nine is right, you overdressed pompous fuck! how 'bout a nine-iron right up your ass?
DP: gack....
DC: wanna talk about the Catholic Church, your honor?
DP: vas....?
DC: you fucks had a platform of non-involvement during the holocaust!
DP: GACK!
DC: tell us about the Spanish Inquisition!
DP: GACK! GACK! uugghh....
DC: 'Gack', he says....
DP: ICH HABE EINE GROSSE SHEISS EN DIE HOSEN !! ICH HABE EINE GROSSE SHEISS EN DIE HOSEN !!
DC: 'you have a giant shit in your pants', you say?
DP: AAARRRGH........
DC: let's suppose I grab that pope-spanker away from you and shove it right in yourFCC DELETED CONTENT FCC DELETED CONTENT FCC DELETED CONTENT FCC
our sponsor wishes to offer an apology and issue a retraction. we will donate 10,000 gross of Lorna Doones for use as Communion wafers at the Vatican. please don't sue us.